I'm getting ready to escape for the weekend. I've been anticipating this girls' weekend like you would not believe. Crazy considering we just had a fantastic family vacation.
I'm suddenly feeling uncomfortably guilty about leaving for the weekend. It's strange...guilt and I are usually nice companions. I've fed my kid Lucky Charms for dinner instead of insisting that he try to eat chicken pot pie. I've left him crying at daycare, feeling a little relief that I got to escape for a few hours. I've made lots of parenting decisions that are questionable in the name of "picking my battles." All without losing a night's sleep.
I think the real reason is because I not only know I'm running away to have fun, but my son knows it too. He couldn't understand why mommy was packing up his "talkie-walkies" (to communicate between cars) and his DVD player (because mommy can't drive and watch TV at the same time). And he actually looked a little sad and asked if I'd call him every day.
So, tonight when I picked him up from daycare, we made a quick stop at the local grocery store to pick up some treats to get him and his dad through the weekend.
I had the best intentions, but surprisingly, we made it out of the store with a $50 assortment of junk food...animal crackers, animal cookies, sour gummy worms, laffy taffy, chocolate covered raisins, an assortment of lunchables, a box of corn dogs, and some cinnamon rolls.
He's sleeping peacefully, now, and I'll be gone before he wakes in the morning. But it's okay. I know he'll have a great weekend with his dad, and his tummy ache will be a good reminder that his mommy loves him.
I'm off to dig the Ben & Jerry's from the dark recesses of the freezer...it's one of those treats I keep hidden until I know he's sound asleep.
Have a great Memorial Day Weekend everyone!!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Feeding a Passion
As soon as we'd hung up the cleats after our last football game, I promised myself that I would feed my son's passion. It didn't matter what it was, if he was genuinely interested, I was going to make sure it happened.
As it happened, we went on a family vacation to Phoenix. Dad got in three rounds of golf in as many days, and my boy and I were left to explore the town with our wonderful friends. On our first full day there, we went to the Arizona Science Center. It was an amazing experience. We've participated in our local hands-on science center, but this one was extra cool...it had a planetarium. I wasn't sure how it would go over, but my boy loves the sky, so I thought maybe he'd be cool with it. He loved the experience. Besides swimming and watching TV (and having two "sisters" for four days), he thought the planetarium was the best part of our trip. I was stoked. I felt so proud of myself for finding an activity that would relate to his interests.
When we got home, we had a few days left before our little guy went back to school. Six weeks left of kindergarten, and I was determined I would find something to motivate my child to stay focused and stay out of trouble. The carrot was easy...he wants to build a play house. I think it's a fantastic idea. He's been drawing plans up and talking about it for months. Up to this point, dad has been adamant that we do not have the time, money, room, energy, etc. to build a playhouse.
After some creative persuasion, I convinced daddy that this could be a perfect opportunity to reward our son with something he really cares about.
We made him a deal. Each day he has a good day, he gets to put a star on his playhouse chart. And each week that he gets five stars, he gets something for his playhouse. Last week was the first week, and it worked out perfectly.
His teacher even e-mailed and said that he has been stopping himself when he gets frustrated and talking through his feelings, and he told her all about his playhouse. To keep the enthusiasm going, we went to Lowe's on Friday and got his first installment toward the playhouse...paint chips. (Realistically, Daddy will just dig through his shop and find some fun extra colors.)
In order to really make this worthwhile, we decided that he won't get the plywood for the walls until the last week of school...
Anyway, so far so good. It's been amazing. It feels so good to be able to facilitate my child's dreams instead of saying no to everything.
Before my arm got tired from patting myself on the back, however, the little guy threw me a curve ball. I took a cooking class at work last week, and when he overheard me talking about it, he asked if he could take a cooking class, too.
The practical side of me thought no way, but the new and improved let's-think-about-it mom prevailed. I told him I would see what I could come up with. After some quick posts on Twitter and Facebook, I found a personal chef who would come to my house and give my son cooking lessons. I know on the surface it seems really silly to pay someone to come teach my son something I'm totally capable of doing myself.
I really spent some time thinking it over, though, and I realized that yes I can engage him when I'm in the kitchen, but usually when we're in the kitchen together, I'm focused on trying to get a meal on the table in a reasonable amount of time. It occurred to me that the best way to feed this spark is to let him experience cooking at his own pace when it's all about him. So, we're doing it. Next Friday night is his first cooking lesson.
I hope that the let's-think-about-it mom sticks around for a while. Home is a happy place to be right now...and maybe if I'm lucky, I might get a night off from dinner duty now and again.
As it happened, we went on a family vacation to Phoenix. Dad got in three rounds of golf in as many days, and my boy and I were left to explore the town with our wonderful friends. On our first full day there, we went to the Arizona Science Center. It was an amazing experience. We've participated in our local hands-on science center, but this one was extra cool...it had a planetarium. I wasn't sure how it would go over, but my boy loves the sky, so I thought maybe he'd be cool with it. He loved the experience. Besides swimming and watching TV (and having two "sisters" for four days), he thought the planetarium was the best part of our trip. I was stoked. I felt so proud of myself for finding an activity that would relate to his interests.
When we got home, we had a few days left before our little guy went back to school. Six weeks left of kindergarten, and I was determined I would find something to motivate my child to stay focused and stay out of trouble. The carrot was easy...he wants to build a play house. I think it's a fantastic idea. He's been drawing plans up and talking about it for months. Up to this point, dad has been adamant that we do not have the time, money, room, energy, etc. to build a playhouse.
After some creative persuasion, I convinced daddy that this could be a perfect opportunity to reward our son with something he really cares about.
We made him a deal. Each day he has a good day, he gets to put a star on his playhouse chart. And each week that he gets five stars, he gets something for his playhouse. Last week was the first week, and it worked out perfectly.
His teacher even e-mailed and said that he has been stopping himself when he gets frustrated and talking through his feelings, and he told her all about his playhouse. To keep the enthusiasm going, we went to Lowe's on Friday and got his first installment toward the playhouse...paint chips. (Realistically, Daddy will just dig through his shop and find some fun extra colors.)
In order to really make this worthwhile, we decided that he won't get the plywood for the walls until the last week of school...
Anyway, so far so good. It's been amazing. It feels so good to be able to facilitate my child's dreams instead of saying no to everything.
Before my arm got tired from patting myself on the back, however, the little guy threw me a curve ball. I took a cooking class at work last week, and when he overheard me talking about it, he asked if he could take a cooking class, too.
The practical side of me thought no way, but the new and improved let's-think-about-it mom prevailed. I told him I would see what I could come up with. After some quick posts on Twitter and Facebook, I found a personal chef who would come to my house and give my son cooking lessons. I know on the surface it seems really silly to pay someone to come teach my son something I'm totally capable of doing myself.
I really spent some time thinking it over, though, and I realized that yes I can engage him when I'm in the kitchen, but usually when we're in the kitchen together, I'm focused on trying to get a meal on the table in a reasonable amount of time. It occurred to me that the best way to feed this spark is to let him experience cooking at his own pace when it's all about him. So, we're doing it. Next Friday night is his first cooking lesson.
I hope that the let's-think-about-it mom sticks around for a while. Home is a happy place to be right now...and maybe if I'm lucky, I might get a night off from dinner duty now and again.
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